It's Like a Taste Explosion

I could come here with a long post about being abducted by amazonian nataives, or how I was held against my will in a chinese prison, or even about how I saved a puppy from a burning building, but, alas, that would just be lying. The boring truth of my absence is that my computer at work blew, so I had to get a new one. Good news: Im back and better than ever. Look for some upcoming posts that are fantasy baseball related, as well as my eagerly awaited Red Sox preview. The latter post will come once Ive gathered enough coherent thoughts about these morons to come up with something decent to say about them, rather than just a long string of obsceneties.

Anyway, Im back and ready to roll.
- Ray King The lefty specialist
PS: Tell me the fruit George was eating and the basic plot of that Seinfeld episode and win a dollar.

It's German for Sucking from the South Side

So the Mets have signed Scott Schoeneweis.
...
Perfect piece of news to come back to after a law-school induced layoff. Analysis, including congratulations for Minaya's first signing of a caucasian player, to follow later today. Until then, try emailing Lefty to see if he's alive.

-RJ

Bad Moves Over None?

Steve Goldman brings up an excellent point in today's Pinstriped Bible on YESnetwork.com, and believe me, I am not above scrounging for post ideas in other people's blogs. Intellectual property, my ass.
Anyway, Mr. Goldman (who despite writing for one of the supposed "Al-Yankzeera" media outlets, is suprisingly evenhanded and takes Steinbrenner & Co. to task often) criticizes the Pittsburgh Pirates not for making bad moves, as Lefty and I so often criticize clubs for doing, but for doing, quite simply, nothing at all this offseason. Apparently they are waiting on Adam LaRoche's asking price to come down so they can unload Mike "Ouch, my elbow" Gonzalez on Atlanta. LaRoche is not going to make them a contender (shit, Gehrig on first might not make them a contender) but it would be a step in the right direction. Atlanta, however, is playing footsy with any number of teams for LaRoche and are perfectly content to go to Spring Training with him at first base. Why, then, hasn't Dave Littlefield moved the fuck on with his young, cheap pitching and gotten some young, cheap hitting? He's a retard, that's why.
Let's look at their top three starters first (in alphabetical order):
Zack Duke
2006: 10-15, 215IP 255H 17HR 68BB 117K (4.47 ERA, 1.50 WHIP)
Duke's first year as a full season starter in the majors was an important step forward for him. A classic finesse lefty (take notice oh mighty getter-outer of lefthanders), Duke's innings pitched placed him 12th in the NL, and his 4.47 ERA led the starting staff. 17 HR in 215IP means Herr Duke's sinking action keeps that ball down and in the park. Tremendous potential as his control improves. Oh, and btw, his 2006 salary? $335,000. Pretty sweet.
Ian Snell
2006: 14-11, 186IP 198H 29HR 74BB 169K (4.74 ERA, 1.46 WHIP)
Numbers do not do him justice. I had the pleasure of seeing him pitch against the New York Mets this past season in early May. INSERT CLICHE ABOUT HIS PITCHES HERE. Seriously though, his stuff is electric/filthy/disgusting/unfair. At 25, he has plenty of time to settle in and learn pitch selection better, from what I read throughout the season, and this conforms to what I saw in the game against the Mets, Snell gets obsessed with strike three, tries to be too fine and ends up in a hitter's count. "Points" his slider a bit under duress and it flattens out. Explosive fastball with action that makes righthanded batters' thumbs hurt. Big time future barring injury (no whammies, no whammies, fantasy sleeper, no whammies). $330,000 buys alot of KFC snackers, but not many pitchers of his talent.
Paul Maholm
2006: 8-10, 176IP 202H 19HR 81BB 117K (4.76 ERA, 1.61 WHIP)
Another lefty, but with more velocity than Mssr. Duke, Maholm has seen his learning curve take off with his rude introduction to major league hitters. His ERA and peripherals are skewed by 2 bad months (April and June) and otherwise would have looked much more respectable had he not had three awful starts in those months. Strikeout numbers will improve with his control and pitch selection ala Snell. Guess what? He's another minimum wage youngster at age 24 with a $328,000 salary.

The point I am trying to make is that any GM worth a damn (not so many) would be actively salivating at the thought of these young, cheap and talented starters occupying the back end of their rotation. I am not arguing that Pittsburgh should be rid of all three starters, because that would be on the Derek Bell level of stupidity, but that outside of Freddy Sanchez, the offensive talent on this team is atrocious. With prospects like the oft-injured Brian Bullington and others that could give similar numbers to any of these three, it would be aggressive indeed for Littlefield to be offering one of his top three for a multitude of everyday-player talent. Putting asses in the seats may be overrated for purposes of running a franchise, but the leverage Littlefield has with these three in the market for pitching that there is today, he could remake his team twice over with the prospects and everyday players he could get for any one of these guys. Instead, he quibbles with John Schuerholz over Adam LaRoche. Sigh.
Me and lefty would have the Pirates at .500 next year and a contender in that division within 3 years. Waiting on your call, Pittsburgh fans.

-RJ

Back Through the Box

Perhaps I will start saving up longer posts for a once-a-week bonanza of statistics. For now, I've created this segment, titled "Back Through the Box" for some bullet-point style questions and statements that I would like Lefty (and all four readers we have) to answer and contemplate. On to the detritus:
1. As I sit here in legal research and writing class, even my misery at being back to school is buoyed by the fact that I won't have to look at Randy Johnson's face in HD anymore on a regular basis. Whether his spot is taken by Pavano's creaky asscheeks, Humberto Sanchez Rodriguez Martinez, or ::gasp:: Philip Hughes, they still couldn't be as frustrating as watching the Decrepit Unit give up 2 out RBI hits to the backup Devil Rays DH.
2. What kind of pitcher is Philip Hughes? By type, I mean strikeout, flyball, changeup artist, sinkerballer, control-dependent? I know nothing about his pitch selection, velocity, mechanics or makeup. I do know he has strong K numbers in AA, but what the hell does that mean when there are 2 outs and the bases loaded in the bottom of the seventh and he's at 98 pitches?
3. Good thing the Red Sox have traded Manny, I mean, whew. Glad to see he is safely out of the division where he has murdered the Yankees almost as much as Papi. What's that? He demanded a trade and they didn't give it to him? Fuck.
4. How does Theo Epstein get away with that? Does he just give him a different colored warm-up jersey and tell him his first game is at Fenway or what?
5. Seriously. Fuck.
6. Jonathan Papelbon? Really, Theo? That's your ace in the hole? So a guy who couldn't keep his shoulder intact (literally, it was in two seperate pieces in September) over eighty innings is supposed to give the Sawx 200+ innings? Really? Meanwhile, Curt Schilling hasn't met a Boston Creme doughnut he couldn't swallow whole and I'm supposed to be scared of Josh Beckett's labia-like fingers? Every year it's "the balance of power in the AL East is shifting!" Every year Cashman keeps my boys right there. Go fuck yourself, greater Boston metropolitan area!

-RJ

I Hate You...

Regarding your little math equation there: Replace Philip Hughes with the Oft-Injured, newly revived, pride of Southington, Carl Pavano, and suddenly Im a little happier about the trade. Spring training will have an interesting twist to it to see which scenario plays out.

WHEN (notice I didn't use "IF", but instead chose "WHEN") the Yankees acquire Santana, I will in fact be done with the game of baseball. Ive threatened it many times before, but as things have played out with the "Arod Affair", Sheffield, Giambi, and their myriad of other failed acquistions (note: failed=no championships), Im still here with my head attached to my body. Although, you know, with this recent non-sensical, splurge by the Red Sox this offseason, I can't even scold the Yankees and baseball for their spending/possible spending. Life is a many fickle thing indeed.

-Rheal Cormier, The Lefty Specialist

Oh baby...

Bob Klapisch is reporting on ESPN.com that the Yankees are stockpiling young pitching talent for an earth-shattering, life altering trade with the Twins for Johan Santana... who know they can't afford him in 2 years since BZit is making 18 million a year. They want to sell him while his value is high, and the trade may include Carl Pavano and most, if not all, of the Triple-A pitching talent the Yankees have received thus far.
I will now proceed to walk around with an erection for the remainder of the offseason. And if Bob Klapisch knows what's good for him, he'll continue to drop hints about this until it happens, so that I can continue to torture Mr. Specialist about this.

-RJ

And, btw.

Yankee Pitching Staff - Randy Johnson =
Yankee Pitching Staff + Philip Hughes

Cashman for Exec of the Year. 43 year old pitcher for 3 young talents and a throw-in shortstop.

-RJ

A Short One

How do you like this one, oh wise one-out reliever:
(Flake = Zito)
(Zito + Fat Contract = Great Expectations)
(Great Expectations + Zito = Flake-out)
Flake-out + San Fransisco Giants = Billy Beane's Resignation (long overdue).

-RJ

P.S. CMiWang is a rare pitcher indeed that can have such terrible peripherals and yet be successful because he has one-of-a-kind stuff. Beckett, even with his vagina-soft fingers, is a fastball/curveball pitcher. Wang simply has the best sinker I've ever seen, and I've seen 'em all over the world.

CM WANG. No. Just no. I will not sit here and let you DEFILE this space with your Wang Chung talk here. I did not throw out Josh Beckett at you did I??? CM WANG had one good year for the best regular season team on the planet, all the while DEFYING all logic with his non-existent strikeout totals and ludicrous .277 BAA. Here's a list of names who ranked higher than Mr. Chung in said BAA category: The immortal Claudio Vargas, Mark Hendrickson, Jarrod Washburn, Jeff Francis, and oh just for kicks lets throw Vicente Padilla in there. Coincidentally, who was #1 in this category you might ask? -My boy Chris Young with an absurd .206 BAA.

I am however willing to compromise on "Everybody Wang Chung Tonight" though; if somehow his deal with Lucifer hasn't expired and he continues to post anomalistic numbers while keeping his wins high and ERA low, then Ok we might have something here and crow will be eaten. Until then, keep him on the pine with Blister Boy Beckett.
1 last thing: Remember the New Years Resolutions of keeping the posts shorter. I know you can do it.

-Mike Stanton, the Lefty Specialist

Overtly Overrating Overratedness

Confusing enough title? As promised, I return to tapdance over my colleague's arguments for the 11 pitchers he would take over Barry "The Flake" Zito. It should be said that I don't like Barry Zito, and I never have.... little too Cali for my tastes. I do remember fondly the 2001 ALCS Game 3 when Mikey Moose outdueled him for 7 for the Yanks 1-0 series-changing victory. Ahhh, those truly were the days.
In any event, I am going to pick apart each of the 11 pitchers to make them seem less likely to be chosen by any RATIONAL person over Monsieur Zito. Since Lefty IS a Red Sawx fan, this likely doesn't apply to him. (Badump bump) Anyway, here's Zito's line from last season:
221 IP 211H 27HR 99BB 151K; to the tune of a 3.83 ERA and 1.40 WHIP. Not too shabby at all, although the walk total is making me gag on that sentence. So not GREAT, but certainly above average, particularly in the IP department. Let's look for a second at the walk total.
Zito's out pitch, the pitch that makes GMs cream and batters scream (alliteration FTW!) is an 11:53-5:47 curve ball that moves (and I've measured via a highly scientific method AKA comparing it to height of the batter) a good five plus feet. When all is well, it breaks from the shoulder level of the batter, where there is no way on God's green earth he could consider swinging at it all the way to the bottom of the kneecaps, nicking the strike zone and most likely resulting in a called strike or punchout. Think about this for a second. Zito (who has a below-average fastball and average changeup) is gonna use his magic pitch alot (I was looking for a curveball thrown percentage, but couldn't find it... paging Rob Neyer). He is standing the prescribed 60'6" away from a plate that is 17" wide and throwing what can only be described as a massive breaking ball. His walk total has always been high, along the lines of 80, 78, 88, 81, 89 in his five full seasons not including '06. His K/BB (covered in previous posts) has been in and around the low 2's until this season, however, where he posted a 1.53 K/BB. That, more than anything else, is troubling, as Jason Marquis is gonna find out (see Marquis post). Still, his numbers have been decently consistent prior to this season, so it could simply be a deviation.
Let's compare what we know about Zito to Lefty's top four pitchers.
Johan Santana:
'06: 19-6, 2.77 ERA 1.00 WHIP 233IP 186H 24HR 47BB 245K
Okay, let me preface everything that I'm about to say with this. Santana is the best pitcher on the planet right now, in the stronger of the two leagues. I am researching stats between the NL and AL as we speak, but let's just say for now that the World Series notwithstanding, the AL is vastly superior in offensive talent to the NL (DH, more superstars in prime, etc.). Santana put up these numbers pitching for a team that was offensively a joke, receiving 9 no-decisions, at least 6 of which he pitched well enough to win.
Aright, so there is no argument against picking Santana over Zito. If I had a NL team under my GMship, I could count on 20 wins for Santana barring injury. See above posts for possible contract offers (20 years, 300 million not out of question).
Roy Oswalt:
'06: 15-8, 2.98 ERA 1.17 WHIP 220.2IP 220H 18HR 38BB 166K
The argument against Oswalt is one of durability. In 2004 (admittedly two seasons ago) he was hampered by all kinds of leg and arm injuries. He has gone well over 200IP in 2005 and 2006, however, so my argument kind of falls flat. BUT he is only 5'10" (a fine height, one that I aspired to on my driver's license) and his violent delivery could lead to further arm troubles, but his age (turns just 30 this season), exceptional walk rate and past success would make him a fine choice over Barry Z.
Chris Carpenter:
'06: 15-8, 3.09 ERA 1.07 WHIP 221.2IP 194H 21HR 43BB 184K
Let me join Lefty in saying I do not think he is as good as the past two seasons would indicate, but holy hell, the numbers speak for themselves. He could've won twenty on any reasonably offensively competent team, but for the World Champions, he did yeoman's work. Age (32) and past injury history (i.e. arm aneurysm, shoulder reconstruction, etc.) makes him an iffy choice over the younger and more durable Zitolicious, but not nearly enough to disregard his reputation as a big-game pitcher that will throw regardless of nagging injuries.
Roy Halladay:
'06: 16-5, 3.19 ERA 1.10 WHIP 220IP 208H 19HR 34BB 132K
Doc had himself a fine season, even with his strained forearm and SIX winless starts at the end of the season. Doesn't strike out as many as Santana, but I concur with Mr. Specialist about his continuing ability to challenge JSant for the AL Cy Young. Add in the George Michael beard and Rough Justice is sold on his awesomeness. A true gamer, which is more than BZit, as lead flake in the flake sweepstakes, can claim.
When, you might start to ask yourself at this point, is Rough Justice gonna justify this obscenely (already) large post and FUCKING DISAGREE with Lefty? In short bullet points, I will do just that for the next seven.
Zambrano:
Big boy for a pitcher, pitches and acts like a middle linebacker. Uevos grandes, but his control is actually WORSE than Zito's, and he's been doing it in the NL. Granted, peripherals are delicious, but pitching under Dusty for the past two seasons has probably made him overdue for Tommy John and a career as the lesser Roy Halladay from this point on.
Peavy:
Funky 3/4 delivery and struggles in the playoffs tells me that he is not used to any kind of workload I would be prepared to drop on him. His injuries include blisters, mysterious shoulder fatigue and soreness, a sure sign of a pitcher who struggles mechanically and hence, velocity-wise. Not nearly consistent enough for me to pick him over Zito, and again, he posted an ERA over 4 in the NL in one of the weakest divisions in the history of the sport.
Webb:
Sinkerballer with good control. Kind of like Bret Saberhagen without the vagina. That being said, I am gonna need to see more from him before I anoint him ahead of Zito. Doesn't have Halladay's breaking ball, so no real out pitch besides his sinker. Does keep the ball in the park, but gives up hits aplenty. Age and injuries not really a factor yet.
D-Train:
Nope. Funky delivery only gets you so far. Needs to sharpen his breaking ball and get back the velocity he lost in the past season.
Chris Young:
Who?
CC Sabathia:
Big burly lefty, similar stuff to Dontrelle without the funky motion. Decent breaking stuff, but he, too has lost velocity and probably wears pants with a bigger waistline than mine... not a good sign.
Verlander:
THROW YOUR CURVEBALL FOR STRIKES AND BECOME NOLAN RYAN. Need to see him do it again.
What I am so upset about, and what caused me to begin this travesty of a post was that Lefty seems to have left out another young pitcher with fantastic potential that I would take over Barry Zito in a heartbeat. Than man is none other than Taiwanese legend and fellow pack-a-dayer Chien-Ming Wang, or as I call him in the privacy of my own home, CMiWang (pronounced SeeMyWang). Fun for the whole family. He has good control, throws a sinker in the MID NINETIES, and yet strikes out noone. Needs a better slider and he's approaching Halladay territory. Dan Quisenberry struck out more batters, but I bet he doesn't smoke filterless Taiwanese cigarettes. Domino, muthafucka.
In short, then, Barry Zito has been posting above-average ERAs in a superior league, and moving him to the NL and its weakest division can only help him. Look for him to hit it big this year.

-RJ

ELEVEN GUYS OVER ZITO?! Well... shit.

Rest assured, my viewing public, I had a massive article written (WITH STATISTICS, YAAY!) before Blogger ate it and the fucker won't give it back. I promise I will rewrite it for this afternoon. Until then, suffice to say that I am going to kick the crap out of Lefty's argument pitcher by pitcher, even though I secretly agree with him, because Zito is overrated. However, is overratedness is, in and of itself, overrated. More to come, I promise.

- Rough Justice

Guys Id Prefer over Barry Zito (Not Gay I swear)

I had an interesting conversation with some friends this past weekend. With Barry Zito signing for a small island, a discussion brewed about what pitchers we would rather have over Barry Zito. It can be argued that Zito is remarkably consistent, durable and always gives you a chance to win. Sure, this may be the case, but look further and you will see a steady decline in his stats over the years. I for one am far too lazy to look them up, so Ill give you the short and sweet version: Strikeouts are down ERA is up . Call me old fashioned but to me those are pretty important. Anyway, to the point let me give you the guys I would take over Barry Zito.

The No-Brainers: When I was posed with the question of naming 3 guys Id rather have over Zito I thought oh jeez this is easy, but the days of good pitching is gone and it was surprising harder than I thought to make a good solid case for taking someone over Zito. These guys however are guys I would take without thinking twice.

1)Johan Santana-Duh
2)Roy Oswalt- Ridiculous numbers, and with any run support this guy would be an annual 25 game winner.
3) Chris Carpenter- Now Ive always been a Carp hater but damn he just keeps putting up the numbers.
4)Roy Halladay- This guy rounds out my list. The only guy who can even challenge Santana for the AL Cy Young crown.

Here's where some debate comes in. This next list are guys right around that grey area where it's tough to decide who the better choice is.
The High-End Potentials:

1) Carlos Zambrano- Scarily close to making into the no-brainer section and he hasnt had his career year yet.
2)Jake Peavy- Forget about the record, his stats are unbelievable the past coulpe of years.
3) Brandon Webb- Last year was not a fluke, take a look at his ERA since entering the league. With a decent team around him he wins 20 games easily.

This is where it really gets tough for me to pick.
The Lower-End Potentials:

1) Dontrelle Willis- From here forward you can make a case for Willis over Zito
2)Chris Young- Got out of Texas and in only his 2nd full season as a starter put up some very nice numbers in SD. Product of the park? Maybe.
3)CC Sabathia- I know the numbers are great but I have a hard time putting him above Zito. Others might be higher on him which is why I put him here.
4) Justin Verlander- Man he looked impressive last year didn't he? Show me again and he will only move up.

There's 11 guys I would take over Zito and there's plenty more who are debateable. The Matt Cain's, Dan Haren's, and John Lackey's of the world, for example, but, I simply don't think they are there yet.

-Larry Anderson, The Lefty Specialist.