Back Through the Box

Perhaps I will start saving up longer posts for a once-a-week bonanza of statistics. For now, I've created this segment, titled "Back Through the Box" for some bullet-point style questions and statements that I would like Lefty (and all four readers we have) to answer and contemplate. On to the detritus:
1. As I sit here in legal research and writing class, even my misery at being back to school is buoyed by the fact that I won't have to look at Randy Johnson's face in HD anymore on a regular basis. Whether his spot is taken by Pavano's creaky asscheeks, Humberto Sanchez Rodriguez Martinez, or ::gasp:: Philip Hughes, they still couldn't be as frustrating as watching the Decrepit Unit give up 2 out RBI hits to the backup Devil Rays DH.
2. What kind of pitcher is Philip Hughes? By type, I mean strikeout, flyball, changeup artist, sinkerballer, control-dependent? I know nothing about his pitch selection, velocity, mechanics or makeup. I do know he has strong K numbers in AA, but what the hell does that mean when there are 2 outs and the bases loaded in the bottom of the seventh and he's at 98 pitches?
3. Good thing the Red Sox have traded Manny, I mean, whew. Glad to see he is safely out of the division where he has murdered the Yankees almost as much as Papi. What's that? He demanded a trade and they didn't give it to him? Fuck.
4. How does Theo Epstein get away with that? Does he just give him a different colored warm-up jersey and tell him his first game is at Fenway or what?
5. Seriously. Fuck.
6. Jonathan Papelbon? Really, Theo? That's your ace in the hole? So a guy who couldn't keep his shoulder intact (literally, it was in two seperate pieces in September) over eighty innings is supposed to give the Sawx 200+ innings? Really? Meanwhile, Curt Schilling hasn't met a Boston Creme doughnut he couldn't swallow whole and I'm supposed to be scared of Josh Beckett's labia-like fingers? Every year it's "the balance of power in the AL East is shifting!" Every year Cashman keeps my boys right there. Go fuck yourself, greater Boston metropolitan area!

-RJ